How to keep your child calm in a moment of panic

 
 

Every parent will be familiar with that horrible feeling of seeing their child have a last-minute attack of nerves. Whether this manifests itself as an angry tantrum, a panic attack with a flood of tears or even freezing on the spot refusing to budge, it’s a challenge to know what to do and what to say. This is even more so, if it happens in a public space, with everyone watching for of course, this puts you under even more pressure to fix the problem quickly.

 
Boy crying and panicking.jpg
 
 
 

Process to calm down children

First of all, do check your own feelings. If you’ve been worrying about an upcoming situation or event you run the risk of transferring this anxiety to your child. If your child can see you looking worried, they’ll mirror your state and inadvertently, you’ll be making them worry all the more.

Next, if your child starts to have a meltdown, help them to feel more secure by placing a hand on each shoulder while standing in front of them and looking at them directly using these phrases as a form of ‘verbal first aid’. 

Phrases that may be helpful

  • I’m going to help you through this.

  • We’ve got this.

  • It feels like something is wrong, but these feelings are harmless – you are absolutely fine.

  • You are in control of this: you are not in danger, your brain is sending the wrong signal - and you will get through this.

  • You got scared about what the feelings meant; the anxiety will pass in a couple of minutes.

  • Breathe with me, let’s slow it down.

  • The worst is over and now you’ll start feeling better.

  • I can see it’s hard for you to get comfortable but you can slowly, allow yourself to begin feeling calmer.

  • As you begin to slow your breathing right down, you’ll notice how much easier things are starting to feel.

  • Walk with me over here so I can help you start to feel better and as you do, keep holding my hand. That’s good ….. just focus all your attention on my hand and your hand…..

 
 

About the Author

Alicia Eaton is a Harley Street based Psychotherapist and Clinical Hypnotherapist and the author of four best-selling books. She’s also a Winner in the latest ‘Global Health & Pharma’ Mental Health Awards 2023. For more details of appointments see here: Consultations.

 
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